Should you invite guests to your elopement, or keep it just the two of you?

It’s one of the biggest questions couples wrestle with when planning an intentional, non-traditional wedding day. Maybe you love the idea of an intimate adventure, just the two of you in nature. Maybe you also imagine celebrating with your closest people.

The truth? Both options can be beautiful—but only one will feel most true to you.

This game-style guide will help you navigate that decision with honesty, clarity, and a little bit of fun. Keep score as you go, and pay attention to how you feel while answering. You might find that you already know your answer deep down. Let’s find out.

🎲 How to Play

Each answer earns points:
- Positive (+) = In favor of inviting guests
- Negative (–) = Leaning toward just the two of you
Keep a running tally as you go. After each section, pause to total your score and reflect. You might find your answer becomes clear partway through—and that’s the goal!
Note: Some negative scores carry more weight. That’s intentional—because when it comes to your wedding day, even small hesitations about guests matter.

Start Here: Check in with yourselves

1. When you picture your dream elopement, are other people there with you?

No, it’s just the two of us → -1
Yes, I can see us celebrating with a small group → +1
Maybe? I could see both → 0 and give yourself a ⭐

2. Would having guests make the experience feel more special or more stressful?

More special → +1
More stressful → -1

3. What would you want them to be a part of?

All or most activities—ceremony, celebration, maybe prep or an adventure → +1
Just the ceremony → 0
Just the celebrations—we want to share vows privately → -1 and give yourself a ⭐

If you got 0 or -1 on that one: Would guests feel disappointed with that level of involvement?

Yes, it’d feel too limited for them → -1
No, they'd be happy either way → +1

⏸️ Checkpoint – What’s your score so far?

-2 or lower = 🛑 Your vision is clearly private. Trust that instinct.

-1 to +1 = 🤔 Some hesitation is showing—keep going, but be honest with yourselves.

+2 or higher = 🌿 You're open to guests—let’s keep digging to see if inviting them makes logistical sense.

⭐ = What are the stars for? Keep going to find out!

Practical Considerations & Logistics

(From here on out, keep adding points to your existing score.)

4. Could your guests realistically attend? (Travel, time off, ability level, etc.)

Yes, it would be difficult for them to attend → -1 and give yourself a ⭐
No, they can easily get there → +1

5. Would having guests push your budget or limit where you stay?
(e.g. longer photo coverage, larger accommodations plus food/drink costs for mealtimes/parties, guest lodging, different location/venue requirements)

Nope, we can make it work → +1
Yes, we'd need to spend more or compromise → -1
Not sure yet → 0

6. Would having guests limit your location, activities, or vision?

Yes, it would change a lot → -2
No, we could adapt easily → +1

7. Would having guests make the day feel less spontaneous or more stressful?

Yes, it would limit us or complicate things → -2
No, we’d be comfortable with the added logistics → +1

⏸️ Checkpoint – What’s your score now?

-4 or lower = 🛑 If guests didn’t feel right before, and now logistics are tough—it’s okay to go just you two.

-3 to +2 = 🤔 Still feels uncertain. Consider what you'd lose by adding guests.

+3 to +5 = 🌿 Guests might be worth it—but only if the emotional and relational pieces are strong.

+6 or more = 🎉 Guests are sounding like a great fit—keep going!

Emotional & Experience-Based Questions

8. Would you feel more comfortable saying vows without an audience?

Yes, we want privacy → -1
Private vows + guest ceremony sounds good → +1 plus give yourselves a ⭐
No, we’d love to share the moment with guests → +1

9. Do you want your guest experience to be documented too?

Yes, I’d love to capture their reactions → +1
No, I want the focus on us for this one → -1

10. Would you feel like you missed something if no guests were there?

Yes, we want to share the moment → +1
Sort of—but we’d still prefer a private, intimate experience → 0 and give yourself a ⭐
Not really → -1

11. Would inviting a few people snowball into adding more, or is there a clearly defined short list? (If you invite X, you’d probably have to invite X and X…?)

I could see it snowballing → -1 and give yourself a ⭐
No, we could keep it small → +1

⏸️ Checkpoint – What’s your score now?

-5 or lower = 🛑 Seems you know what you want: a private, intentional day.

-4 to +2 = 🤔 Torn between two desires. You're likely craving a private day with gentle touches of connection.

+3 to +5 = 🌿 A small, intentional guest list could work—if they support your vision.

+6 or more = 🎉 You thrive with loved ones involved—this makes sense for you.

Support System & Relationships

12. Is everyone on your list supportive of your relationship, respectful of your wishes, and aligned with your vision?

Yes → +1
No → Can you leave them off? If not, stop here. 🛑

13. Do you consider these folks part of your “Inner Circle”?
(Will they support you and hold you accountable in your commitment and vows? 5, 10 years from now, will they still be as much a part of your life as they are now? Do they spark joy?)

No → Could you leave that person(s) off the list?

Yes, we could take them off → Take ‘em off and keep going
No, it wouldn’t make sense to leave them out → Stop here. 🛑 Ditch ‘em and go it alone!

Yes → +1

14. Is everyone on this list fully on board for what you have envisioned? Would they be respectful of your wishes and give you space for intimate time alone?

No, they’d want to make it about them → Could you leave that person(s) off the list?

Yes, we could take them off → Take ‘em off and keep going
No, it wouldn’t make sense to leave them out → Stop here. 🛑 Ditch ‘em and go it alone!

Yes, they’d be chill/on board → +1

15: Would anyone be upset if they weren’t invited?

Yes, they’d be upset → -1 → Can you leave that person(s) off? If not, stop here. 🛑

Yes, we could take them off → Take ‘em off and keep going
No, it wouldn’t make sense to leave them out → Stop here. 🛑 Ditch ‘em and go it alone!

No, they’d be happy either way → +1 ⭐

16. Are you inviting them because you truly want to, or because you feel like you have to?

We feel like we have to → Stop here. 🛑 Ditch ‘em and go it alone!
We truly want them there → +1 point

Onto the Results!

-6 or lower = 🛑 Ditch ‘em and go it alone — All signs point to a private elopement. Own it. You’ll be so glad you did!

-5 to +2 = 🤔 On the Fence — Sounds like you’ve got some good people in your corner, but you’re torn because you want an intimate just-you elopement. Consider eloping on your own and finding ways to involve others at a distance or in other celebrations. Let’s discuss!

+3 to +5 = 🌿 Small Guest List — A few guests could be just right—make sure to carve out space and time just for you two, and define your boundaries clearly.

+6 or more = 🎉 Bring Them Along — Including guests feels joyful and natural for you—go for it! (We do recommend keeping this guest list to ~10 or so before it starts to feel like a small wedding.)

⭐ 2+ stars? = Do Both! — Consider a hybrid approach! Elope just the two of you, then plan a celebration or trip with loved ones later. This lets you honor both visions—best of both worlds.

No matter what your score says, what matters most is that your day feels right—quiet or lively, shared or sacred. Eloping on your own can be incredibly powerful—so can bringing a few beloved people into that inner circle. The sweet spot is whatever honors your relationship, your values, and your vision!

Clarity comes when you slow down, listen inward, and let go of expectations that don’t serve you. If you’re leaning toward a just-us day but still want to involve others in some way, here are a few meaningful options:

Ways to involve others from afar:

Ask loved ones to write letters for you to read on your elopement day
Have a friend collect video or audio toasts for you to watch together
Schedule a video call to share the moment or announce the news afterward
Invite them to help you choose details like outfits, readings, music, ceremony writing, or vows
Share a sneak peek gallery, videos from the day, or a short video message
Host a celebration or gathering when you're back home
Include their blessings or wishes in your ceremony script
Include a family heirloom or meaningful object in your detail photos
Open gifts, cards, or recorded blessings on the day
Create a registry, or invite loved ones to contribute to your elopement or honeymoon fund (yes, you can still have a registry even if you elope!)

Ways to involve guests day-of (without losing intimacy)

Split the experience across two days—one for you, one for celebration
Have a friend or family member officiate your ceremony
Invite them to a shared meal, a group toast, or an evening around a fire
Keep vows private, but include guests in a group meal, toast, or shared adventure
Give them a meaningful role, like setting up a picnic, leading a ritual, tending a fire, or carrying the bouquet/rings/vows
Gift them something personal (a Polaroid, a pressed flower, a hand-penned note)
Create space for storytelling, toasts, or shared memories around a campfire
Plan a group activity like a picnic, paddle, or scenic walk—something fun and low-key

✨ Or… Celebrate Later!

If having people there on the day doesn’t feel right, but you still want to share the joy, plan a reception, a dinner, or a casual backyard gathering a few months after your elopement. Some couples call it a Happily Ever After-Party! You can bring cake, photos, stories, and hugs—without the stress of wedding-day logistics. Some opt to have a second ceremony if you’d like them to celebrate in that union again—others just wanna party. You do you.

You don’t have to follow a template—there’s no rulebook, no single right way to elope. Just the version that fits your relationship, your values, and your dreams. And if you’re still figuring that out, that’s okay too! We’re here to help you sort through the noise and create something honest, grounded, and beautifully you.

Whether you end up surrounded by a handful of people or just each other and the trees, your day deserves to be intentional, beautiful, and wholly yours. Trust yourself. Trust your connection. The rest will fall into place.