From an elopement photographer who had a big wedding
…and regrets it.

Take it from me—I had a big wedding. This was before I was an elopement photographer—before I really knew what an elopement was, or what it could be.

The experience of that wedding was, among many things, what pushed me into the world of elopements.

Planning a big wedding in itself was stressful—and I’ll get into that more—but more than that, it didn’t feel like me.

There were elements of the day that did—the tree ring coasters. The wooden ceremony arch. Getting married in the forest.

But I came away from the experience… feeling a little hollow. Like I wasn’t even there.

Because I wasn’t—I was elsewhere. I was lost in thoughts around expectations, timelines. Making other people happy. Posing for my photographer (who, by the way, made me feel like a mannequin or some magazine editorial shoot).

When I photographed my first adventure elopement, out in the wilderness—something unlocked in me. I couldn’t help but notice the joy, the love, the presence they felt. Even on the sidelines, capturing and witnessing and photographing—it was kind of contagious. The joy they felt. I could see it in their faces, in their laughs, and in the photographs I take. I could feel it, in the scenery. I came away from the experience beaming.

It made me realize: that’s what I wanted.

I wish I had eloped. I wish I knew it was even an option—this was a little before elopements started to become more mainstream. They still spark some controversy now and then, but more people nowadays understand a little more about what they are. And I’m so so grateful. Because maybe more people like me might actually get to have the kind of experience they actually want for their wedding day.

I wish I had given myself the space and privacy I craved, to read my handwritten vows. Instead, I opted for the stock repeat-after-me’s and never wrote them.

I wish I had time alone that day with my partner, instead of having to entertain 130+ guests.

I wish I’d saved the money—maybe we could have bought a house instead (!)

I wish I had skipped the DJ and the dancefloor and instead spent my time out where I love to be: in nature.

I wish I could have gotten married in a space that felt right for me, in a way that felt right for me.⁠

If any of this resonates with you, if you’re on the fence about a big wedding versus an elopement, wondering which is for you—I hope this can come as an assurance, maybe even a gentle warning—sit with that feeling for a moment.

I’ve done both. I’ve had a big wedding—my first marriage. In my second, current marriage—we eloped.

And I’ll tell you firsthand: I do NOT regret the elopement.

I regret not eloping the first time. I regret the big wedding. The expenses. The needless details. The awkward, rushed conversations with distant family or old friends I was genuinely happy to see but didn’t really have the time to catch up with, properly. There was no time for quality time.

If any of this resonates with you, if you’re on the fence about a big wedding versus an elopement, wondering which is for you—I hope this can come as an assurance, maybe even a gentle warning—sit with that feeling for a moment.

If you’re thinking about an elopement—if there’s something in your heart that tugs at the thought of you saying your vows, surrounded by nothing but wilderness, just the two of you, somewhere wild and beautiful and peaceful—please. Listen to that call.

What people actually regret

Here’s the thing I’ve learned after years of photographing weddings and elopements:

People almost never regret the way they got married. They regret:

feeling rushed
feeling watched
feeling like their wedding wasn’t really for them
feeling like they had to perform
feelings of comparison and expectation (but this other couple did it this way)
feelings of decision paralysis & planning overwhelm
being too stressed to actually be present

I’ve never had a couple tell me they regret sharing private vows.

I’ve never heard someone say they wished more strangers were watching.

I’ve never heard, “I wish we’d made it more complicated.”

I’ve never had a couple tell me they regret doing things in a way that felt intentional and meaningful to them—choosing what makes them happy over the wants of others.

Marriage is a deeply personal and intimate thing. It’s okay to be selfish about that—it’s about you two. That’s kind of the whole point.

Sure, it might ruffle some feathers. If you’re worried about eloping because of how others will take it—that might be a sign that others might that big wedding more than you.

If you’re worried about eloping because you still want to party with friends, then party with friends. Go say your vows on a mountaintop, then throw a big celebration later. Throw up a projector and show off all your adventurous photos.

Really, I think most people just want to share in the joy of you two starting your next adventure together. They want to feel included. That can happen day of—but it can also happen later. This is just the start of your marriage.

If you’re worried about eloping because you don’t know where to start or there’s just too many options, keep it simple. A good elopement should feel simple, quiet, and intentional—not like another project you have to manage.

How we help make eloping feel easy (and actually enjoyable)

We help couples plan adventure elopements all over Washington state.

After my big wedding, as I was getting into the world of elopements, I was looking for a place to move, to be closer to nature. I chose Washington specifically because it has so much to offer—it is honestly the ideal place for an adventure elopement.

Washington has something for everyone. Mountains—alpine meadows blooming with wildflowers, panoramic views of jagged peaks, glacial alpine lakes the color of turqouise. Lush old growth forests, covered in moss and ferns, gentle trails through ancient woods. Rivers. Valleys. Waterfalls. Beaches—jagged coastlines and rocky shores. Even deserts—all of eastern WA is high desert country with steppes and canyons and desert expanses.

There I go again talking about how beautiful it is here! Anyway, here is what we help with when we help our couples plan their day:

location ideas that fit your vision — hidden gems, quiet spaces, iconic views
local insight and expertise — we’ll make sure our location is feasible for that time of year and that it’s logistically possible
navigating permits, rules, and logistics
building a flexible, stress-free plan for the day
talking timelines without turning it into a production (no time-tables here—we always leave room for quality time and spontaneity)
supporting you if you want guests—or helping you go fully private
making space for real moments instead of rushing from photo to photo
complimentary gear rentals (adventure gear, picnic supplies, decor) via our Trading Post so you can pack light + focus on the moment
officiating — especially for just-us elopements with no guests, we love performing the ceremony too! Keeps it simple and flexible.

Our goal is to inspire you and help you create a unique, intentional, unforgettable wedding experience that reflects who you are, then to capture it all so you can relive those moments forever.